A feMALE Affair
by soHAPPY
Summary: Due to an experimentation of dark magic, Edward is transformed into a human girl and must learn to cope with his new change. Things become especially difficult when he can’t spill his secret to anyone or else the spell will remain permanent.


**A feMALE Affair**

**Summary: **_Due to an experimentation of dark magic, Edward is transformed into a human girl and must learn to cope with his new change. Things become especially difficult when he can't spill his secret to anyone or else the spell will remain permanent. _

**Disclaimer:** Do not own the work of Stephenie Meyer.

**A/N: **Hope you enjoy the story. This storyline just came into my head yesterday, and I want to make it as original as possible. That means that there will be twists and turns that you may or may not like…but hopefully, you'll like what I've written. Anyway, don't forget to review! Enjoy HOMIES! OH yeah, and the title will probably change.

**Chapter 1: A Switch of Chromosomes**

Edward stared at his reflection for what seemed like an eternity, lifting his hand to caress his cheek and to prove that the person staring back at himself was, indeed, not himself. But, his attempt failed. That person—that girl, however attractive she was—was not him. In many ways, the girl was like him: the bronze-coloured hair and…that was pretty much it. But, if he were to compare his 'human form' to this young girl, the similarities were almost endless. They both carried a light tan, glimmering emerald eyes, and a straight jaw line. There was only one small difference. The 'she' part. He was definitely not female, and yet the girl before him was what he claimed her to be: a girl.

What disturbed Edward more than anything…and yet intrigued him to no end was the fact that he, for the first time in over a century, could feel his heart beating. It was the most beautiful feeling. Like floating on cloud nine…like tasting the piece of mortality that he had always craved. Taste. And there was that that too. He could taste saliva that was oddly transfused with a bit of blood from his short-lived hunt. That was slightly both alarming and relieving. When he tasted the blood, there was no lust…no desire…no aching chill that threatened to will his entire body to pounce on the next living thing that caught his eye.

But, what of all this? He was a woman, and that—that was simply…strange.

"Oh shit," a voice echoed throughout the room. How could he have forgotten her presence? But, of course he did. He was human. That much he knew.

"Who are you?" he inquired pensively as he turned around. He cringed slightly upon hearing his own voice. It was so completely feminine that he didn't even want to speak again for fear of questioning his own manhood.

The girl could not have been more than fourteen years old, and yet she carried an air about her that felt as if she had experienced more than a girl of her age should. "Uh, I'm Parker Mackenzie. Before you go on a tangent about why you have an extra X chromosome…allow me to explain myself."

"Go on," Edward urged her with impatience. It seemed as if his human traits were overriding what decades of vampire behaviour had trained him to do. He was slightly disgusted with himself, but he would never admit that.

Parker sighed, knowing she deserved every bit of his attitude, "I've been observing you, Edward. I know; I sound completely psychotic, but you and your family captured my interest when I moved here. I mean, it's completely obvious you're not human…and when I read back on my family's history, I knew you had to be…vampires. It was so completely obvious, and I was just amazed that you would show yourself so openly in public as opposed to..."

"As opposed to what? Living a life of shadow without ever seeing the outside world," he inquired, somewhat amused by the silly mortal's musings. He cursed to himself inwardly. _Mortal. _He couldn't use the term so lightly now. It meant more to him now, despite it having been stripped away from him so long ago.

She chuckled under her breath, "Actually, yes… My mother hasn't exactly educated me in the ways of the vampire, so I got a bit curious after discovering you. I decided to do a bit of investigating…which, consequently, led you here to investigate more on me for your family…As you've discovered, I'm quite adept in the mechanics of dark magic."

"You're a witch." It was a clear statement. A fact. If there were vampire hunts and there were indeed vampires…there was no doubt in his mind that there was a possibility that those witch hunts were indeed dedicated to finding and burning authentic witches. However, he was willing to admit that the hunts did kill many innocent people.

"Correct...As I was saying: Unfortunately, as you were eavesdropping-"

His glare—even in female form—was enough to cause Parker to correct her usage of the word 'eavesdropping'.

"-uh, as you were observing me," she smiled and he nodded his head in approval, "I happened to be working on a spell…for this boy at school. He was getting on my nerves with his egotistical—never mind; it's not important. Anyway, I thought it would be hilarious if I perhaps…changed him into a female, so he'd know what it feels like. Of course, I wasn't going to go through with it so-"

"Get to the point," he interrupted her briskly.

"Right," she sighed, and gestured to the mirror, "My mom arranged this room for me so I could practice my spells. Unfortunately, as I conjured the spell for the female transformation, you were present…which normally wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact that the mirror was present as well. Some spells aren't reflective, but it's obvious, this one was."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. The nose was smaller; a button nose. Everything about him was feminine, even his hands. He muttered a few curses under his breath before he stared up at her, "Is there any way to reverse the spell, Parker?"

"There is always a way to reverse a spell. The conditions on how to reverse the spell, however, depend entirely on the user," Parker informed him with an uneasy smile.

Edward folded his arms. Obviously, these 'conditions' would not be to his liking. "And what, pray tell, were the conditions you put on this spell?"

"Please keep in mind that Craig, the boy in question, is a complete chauvinistic pig-"

"Parker."

She sighed for what seemed like the umpteenth time, "You are required to find at least one person who will genuinely love you for your inner beauty and not your outer beauty. If the person is immediately attracted to you because of your outward appearance…that person is immediately exempt from helping you achieve your goal."

Edward grunted, slumping down onto a spare chair. Perhaps Rosalie would be of some help. She would be immediately turned off by him because of his appearance. She'd deem him—or rather, his outward persona—competition. But, once she was informed that 'she' was a 'he' who was Edward, she'd like him for him. All in all, it seemed like a good plan.

Parker scratched the back of her head out of nervousness. "There's more…"

"I'm assuming what you have to say isn't good news."

"There's good…and there's also bad. I'll start with the bad," she decided and then continued, "No one, and I mean no one from your past, can know of what has happened. That's not one of my conditions. It's the condition listed in this book… It's good I have the update version. The last book had so many riddles…It was very hard to decipher the actual spell's meaning."

She held up a rather large book in her hands and skimmed the spell instructions and warnings. Edward quickly strode to her side and took a glimpse over her shoulder…which wasn't entirely hard to do since his tall height remained; though he was sure he lost at least a few inches.

He gritted his teeth upon reading the importance conditions. Parker wasn't lying.

_The victim is forbidden to reveal the secret during the transformation. _

_EXCEPTIONS: The secret may only be revealed to other witches or wizards. The victim is also permitted to share their secret with at most one person, but the person must not be deeply involved with the victim's past memories. User is not included within exception. _

_The victim must complete the task given by the user in a specific duration of time ordered by the respective witch or wizard._

He skipped past the other trivial rules that were rather obvious to his situation. The note at the bottom left a sour taste in his mouth.

_WARNING: Any violation of the conditions will result in a PERMANENT transformation. Proceed with caution. _

"Oh, well, there's another good side. Strange, I never caught this before," Parker smiled idly as she pointed to a text box in the corner. "It says that you'll be able to return to your normal self during the twenty first hour of everyday…but you still can't reveal the secret during this time."

"What's the time restraint?" Edward inquired.

Parker seemed to blow out a sigh of relief, "I'm not completely horrible. I made it one year."

Edward nodded his head, trying to decide whether he was comfortable with it or not.

"Honey, are you okay up there?" a voice echoed throughout the walls of the attic. Edward guessed the woman was Parker's mother.

"Actually, mom," Parker replied still staring at Edward, "I want you to check something out for me. I'll be down in a minute."

"Alright, I'll be in the den," Ms. Mackenzie hollered, her voice melting into the air.

"Come on," Parker ushered Edward toward the door. "My mom will know what to do…that is, after she kicks my ass."

Edward remained nonchalant. He wasn't about to insult her integrity just yet. After all, he still wanted his Y chromosome back.

**So, how'd you like it? Hope you enjoyed it and reviews are much appreciated! Next chappie will probably involve Parker, Ms. Mackenzie, and Edward...and possibly a school scene? Or not. I think that won't be touched until the third chapter. I'll try to make that torturous for Edward. Hehe, so evil. Anyway:**

Much Lub,

soHAPPY


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